


Asleep

by milkyfrankie



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: 1990s, 90's Music, Alternate Universe - Human, Charlie Magne Tries, Husk is So Done (Hazbin Hotel), Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Protective Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Soft Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:54:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkyfrankie/pseuds/milkyfrankie
Summary: When a tired and damaged boy meets a flamboyant and lively man, the last thing you’d expect them to do is bond over music. How far can the two go in their journey of life, how much of their lives can they change with each other?90’s/Human AUSorry, suck at summaries lol.
Relationships: Alastor & Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust & Charlie Magne, Angel Dust & Cherri Bomb (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust & Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust & Molly (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 120





	1. A Tired, Blue Boy

**January 2, 1997**

**Journal Entry 7**

_ I think the first step to getting better is admitting there is something wrong with you. To verbally say, there is a problem within you and that you need to solve it. That you are broken and you need to fix it. _

_ Of course, it’s not an easy thing to do but when you’ve reached your wits end, it’s a start. _

_ I, however, have not reached that point. I will not admit shit. I am not broken. I’m perfectly fine. A little rough around the edges and what not, but I’m okay… for the most part anyway. _

_ Even when I try telling everyone else I’m okay, when I try to relieve them of their worries so they’d stop bitching at me, people will ALWAYS insist they know what’s wrong with me and that I’m not fine. Which is annoying really, having someone coming up to you and telling you they know what’s poppin’ in your brain. As if they know what is wrong and they know how you feel. They’ll come off as ‘kind’ and appearing ‘helpful’ but have this hidden hiss in their voice as if they need to be on guard with you. _

_ It feels… what is that word? Patronizing? Yes, that’s it I think. _

_ My therapist, the ever so polite Charlie Magne, encourages me everyday to admit crap I don’t even feel to her. She even gave me this notebook to maybe be ‘more open’ about what I think instead of saying it out loud. Sorry, but I have  _ nothing _ to say. It’s not gonna change. I mean, I wish I can tell her what she wants to hear, but I just can’t. _

_ I know you’re reading this too, Charlie. Isn’t there supposed to be this level of trust you give me? Like how I’m supposed to  _ trust _ you won’t read my things? Like a normal therapist is to a patient? I don’t mind though. I know you’re a rule breaker, but mainly for the good of everyone else, not yourself. _

_ You got a good heart, Cha-Cha. So you can keep reading these awful entries. I don’t really care. I’ll promise to have some juicy stories next session. I can’t exactly say what since nothing with me is ever set in stone, but I’ll make something happen. _

_ Anyways, you should be coming back from the other room in just a few minutes, so I’m gonna wrap this and get ready to leave.  _

_ For now, I took to heart that other task you gave me when you came up with this whole journal mess. The thing you’re gonna have me do, the one that you based off music ‘therapy’. I didn’t know what that was at first to be honest until you told me about it, so I had no idea what the hell you were talking about. I kinda went to the library and researched it afterwards a little, at first I wasn’t on board because it mostly mentions classical music and that’s just not what I wanna spend my time listening to. _

_ But you did say there is gonna be modern stuff you have in mind for me, so I’m kinda cool with that. Let’s hope you’re up to date on stuff I like. You should be, considering we’ve known each other for a little bit now. _

_ Love, Angel. _

Closing the notebook, a skinny blond haired boy sighed heavily before leaning back into his chair. He took a look at his current surroundings, a setting he was familiar with. It was bland with dark colors, mostly grey and brown. Although it wasn’t Charlie’s fault, she had even said it was those colors when she moved into the office. She doesn't do her best trying to bring color into it though, from all the rainbow posters and stickers.

He liked Charlie, she was the human version of happiness, the feeling he currently didn’t hold within himself.

People usually dread coming to therapy, and with his past therapist, Angel did too. It all kinda changed when he got Charlie. She was adorable in all kinds of ways, usually giving off motherly vibes he hadn’t gotten since… well, the ‘mother’ incident.

The sound of a doorknob twisting echoed throughout the room. Angel turned his attention towards the source and gave a weak smile to Charlie, who was now quietly walking into the room with CD cases in her right hand.

“Finished up, Anthony?” She asked softly as she came up to the desk and sat on top of it, looking at the boy while waiting patiently for an answer.

“You know how I feel about that name…”

“Ah, that’s right. I’m sorry. I mean  _ Angel _ .” Charlie corrected herself with an apologetic smile, crossing her legs and leaning against them a bit.

Angel shook his head and hummed a bit, waving off the little mistake as it was nothing to get upset about. He started to rub small circles into his beach stained jeans as he pushed away the notebook with his other hand, “Yeah… I finished it. Just on time too, right before you walked in.”

“That’s awesome. Hope you vented a little. I know how you feel after doing that.”

“Doesn’t everybody?”

Charlie raised her brows and looked downwards. Unprofessional yes, but she still had her nervous feelings since Angel was one of her first clients still and she knew sometimes it’s best to leave topics alone when he shows any kind of negativity with it.

“So… whatcha got there?” Angel asked as his eyes peered over to the CD case with high interest. This made Charlie grin and toss it in the air a bit before catching it.

“This would be your first recommendation for that little assignment we talked about. The one I related to music therapy,” Charlie held the case towards him and waited for him to take it, once he did, Angel inspected it for a good few minutes.

**The Smiths**

**The Queen Is Dead**

This was a band Angel had heard about, but never really listened to if he was being quite honest. He wouldn’t knock it though, he’ll give it a try.

“The Smiths? This a fave of yours?” Angel asked Charlie as he turned the case and inspected it more, looking at the song list and date for the album.

“Yep! I absolutely  _ love _ them. More so this album. Came out ‘86 I believe? I didn’t discover it till about a few years after, I was only 15 when it came out. So I guess I’m kinda glad I didn’t find it earlier, I wouldn’t have been so appreciative of it.”

Angel was 6 in 1986, so he most definitely would’ve never had found it on his own in his life if Charlie hadn’t had done this.

**_1\. The Queen Is Dead_**

**_  
_ ** __

__

2\. Frankly Mr. Shankly

__

3\. I Know It’s Over

__

4\. Never Had No One Ever

__

5\. Cemetery Gates

__

6\. Bigmouth Strikes Again

__

7\. The Boy With A Thorn In His Side

__

8\. Vicar In A Tutu

__

9\. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

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10\. Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others

__

__

__

Angel nodded his head slowly, “So what’s ya go to song on here?”

__

__

Charlie leaped off the desk to go sit on her chair across from the blond, leaning into it, she thought about an answer for a moment. The album in general was amazing, so it was hard for her to pick one out of the bunch. But if it meant getting Angel interested, she didn’t mind doing so at all.

__

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“I think ‘I Know It’s Over’ would have to take the crown for that.”

__

__

Angel looked at her for a moment, placing the case onto the desk and raising an eyebrow, “Any particular reason?”

__

__

“I think maybe you’ll find out once ya listen. A sad story to the song, yes but it is really good. It honestly helps me feel understood when I’m sad.”

__

__

“Wait, wait, wait,” The blond started to wave his hands around, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking directly at Charlie with a questioning glance, “You mean to tell me ya get depressed and shit?”

__

__

Charlie rolled her eyes, “Language… and no, not necessarily depressed, but still sad. Just cause I’m a therapist does not mean I’m void of all human feelings. For some reason, people seem to forget that. I’m not a robot.”

__

__

“No duh. You’re a pretty cool chick for a therapist Cha-Cha,” Angel smiled and watched as the older woman before him blushed at the nickname, “I didn’t mean to offend ya.”

__

__

“You didn’t, Angel. Trust me. It’s okay.”

__

__

Charlie watched as the boy looked down into his lap. She paid close attention to how his thumb would make small circles on his thighs as he bounced around out of nervousness. She could tell it was that and didn’t wanna push him anymore on the subject than he already felt. She wanted him to be comfortable.

__

__

“Listen. I think we got far enough in today’s session. Let’s call it quits for now, okay?” She said softly as she placed her elbows onto the desk and intertwined her hands together, “Next week you come in and we’ll discuss the music, what you liked about it, how it made ya feel, if you perhaps felt connected to it.”

__

__

“Connected?”

__

__

“Yeah, sometimes people feel that way whenever they listen to music. You might feel that way to something we choose. I’ll try and pick bands or people you are unfamiliar with. Even then, if I pick one you do know, it doesn’t hurt to listen to them again.”

__

__

Angel sat there, picking up the CD case once more and tapped on it a few times with his index finger for a second. He then nodded and stood up, making his way over to the door with Charlie following closely behind.

__

__

“Alright then, Cha-Cha. I’ll listen to it cause ya asked me to. See if I can steal Aaron’s CD player.”

__

__

Charlie opened the door for Angel and watched him and walk out, “I most definitely wouldn’t encourage you to steal, borrowing work just fine.”

__

__

Laughing a bit, Angel walked out of the room and turned his head to the left where he was his pink-haired friend draped over two chairs while obnoxiously chewing gum. She gave a nasty look to the mom next to her before noticing the two coming out of the room. She jumped up and grinned widely, “ANGIE! Finally! Shit was getting annoying waiting.”

__

__

“Hello again, Cherri. Nice to see you always.”

__

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“Oh yeah. You too, Ms. Magne.” Cherri’s smile dropped as she gave a dramatic bow to the therapist.

__

__

Angel rolled his eyes before grabbing his friend's arm and dragged her towards the front exit. He waved behind him with the hand that held the album, yelling back at Charlie, “See ya next week, Charles!”

__

__

With that, Angel and Cherri made their way out of the building and out into the busy streets of New York. They decided to go to their usual hang out towards Lower Manhattan. It was a little ‘bar’ they spent most of their time. Not everyone called it a bar because while it did have an actual bar, it was mostly filled with people from ages 15 to 25 that occupied the seats just to hang out. Sure, the alcohol in the establishment was as used but as much as people ordered food there.

__

__

It was called ‘Aces Wild’, run by an older woman named Coralynn. She was pretty cool with the people who hung out there and usually stayed around the bar doing paperwork whenever she was there. Angel liked talking to her whenever he waited for Cherri or his sister Molly.

__

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The only other worker there was the bartender, Husker. He was 22 and always had a grumpy attitude as if he was an old man around jumpy kids. He was cool to hold a small conversation with sometimes and had good advice whenever the mood struck him.

__

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Finally reaching their destination after 30 minutes, Angel opened the door and allowed Cherri to go in first. They made a beeline towards the bar, waving to those who greeted them shortly. Sitting at the bar, Angel tossed the CD on the flat surface and sighed.

__

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“Hey, Husky. Mind givin’ me water?”

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Cherri leaned towards the dark-haired bartender with a smirk, “I’ll take a shot of vodka.”

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Husky stared at her for a moment and blinked. He walked away to retrieve the drinks, placing water in front of Angel and a glass of Coke with Cherri, who gave him an annoyed frown in return.

__

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“So, how was it with Magne this week?” She asked, sipping on the soda. Angel just shook his head, giving her a shrug before he leaned against the bar top.

__

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“She decided to start this little thing where she sends me home with different kinds of music that I listen to and see if it does something good for my mind. I kinda hafta report the results to her the week after.”

__

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“Does something good? As in?” The pink-haired girl asked with a raised brow, confusion written all over her face.

__

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Angel took a sip of the water, “Yeah, like if it helps me in any sorta way. I don’t need it thou’. I’m fine… It’s not like I fuckin’ need these sessions.”

__

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He collapsed his head on the flat surface beneath him and sighed heavily. Cherri frowned sympathetically as she reached to him and ran her fingers through his soft hair. She didn’t say what she was thinking, cause she knew better than to do so… then again, she also was thinking the total opposite of what her friend was saying. She truly believed he needed Ms. Magne’s help. But out of respect and love for him, she would never press that idea in his face knowing he was already suffering in silence.

__

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Husk walked up to the two and tossed a small rag over his shoulder, scratching his scruffy chin with one hand, he reached over and picked up the CD case with the other.

__

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“The Smiths? Good shit.”

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Angel lifted his head a little, “Ya like ‘em?”

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“Yeah. The song ‘This Charming Man’ is pretty good,” Husk put the rag onto the bar top and walked away from the two to the back door when the whole set up for the speakers around the bar was near, “I’m gonna play this whether you say yes or no.”

__

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Angel waved him away and turned to Cherri who finished up her Coke after chugging it. Her lips puckered and her body shook a bit. Angel watched her as he started to giggle at her actions rather than helping.

__

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“Ughhhh,” She practically fizzed, “It burns the throat.”

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“That was a stupid thing to do.”

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Suddenly the sun bar was flooded with bright light as the front door swung open and closed just as fast. Angel turned to face the person who caused the slight distribution and eyed the mysterious figure. They weren’t exactly an odd sight to be in New York, but they were definitely out of place in this particular street.

__

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They weren’t bad looking whatsoever, the guy was very handsome actually. But with how he dressed and how, for lack of a better saying, stuck up he looked, he didn’t seem like Angel’s type.

__

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They had short and neatly kept brown hair, their skin was tanned and they were tall. Just around the blond’s own height. He was skinny, looked as if he never ate but for some reason, it complimented him. His smile was wide, it never faltered in any sort of way as his pearly whites shined in the nearly dark room. The bright white clashed with his eyes that were colored oddly if you asked Angel.

__

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A burgundy color, if he were to describe it. They weren’t ugly though, not by a long shot. The color was quite… comforting?

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The guy looked around for a moment, his eyes set on Angel and Cherri. He stared at the two for a moment, which made the fiery girl uncomfortable.

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He then turned towards the bar and raised a hand, “Ah! Husker! There you are!”

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Angel watched as he began to stride over to the bar and leaned against it, watching Husk as the older guy came towards the three and groaned loudly. He tossed the CD case to the blond, who caught it and held it close to his chest.

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“Fuck my life, you’re here. I didn’t expect you to be here today. You were supposed to come next week.”

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The stranger chuckled softly, “Good to see you too. Yes, I’m aware I’m a bit early but you know how it is, I quite got bored waiting and decided ‘what the hell! why not come earlier to surprise my dear cousin!”

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“Woah, Woah,” Cherri interrupted the man, finally getting over her throat situation, “You got a cousin you never mentioned, Husky?”

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Angel raised a brow, a small smile playing at his lips as he silently questioned the bartender the same question.

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Husk poured himself a glass from an old and unattractive looking bottle of booze. He sneered as he took a sip, “I didn’t realize I gotta talk about my life with you kids.”

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“Hey! I’m 18 fuckface!” Cherri snapped back.

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“Not me. I still got a year left.” Angel chuckled as he started to fiddle with the case and looked at the tracklist one more time. He began to listen to the song playing over them and found the name for it.

__

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**_The Queen Is Dead_ **

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“If I’m not mistaken,” The man started as he turned to Angel, “I recognize this song. It’s from that band Husker pestered me to listen to. The Smiths?”

__

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Angel nodded and lifted the case. He took another sip of his water before looking directly at the stranger, “Yeah. It’s from my new CD.”

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The man sat down in the chair next to him, leaning one arm against the bar top. With the other, he extended it towards Angel and held his hand out, “Fantastic. Love that band. How do you do, my effeminate fellow? My name is Alastor LeBlanc. What might yours be?”

__

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“Antho-” The blond started but cut himself, realizing he was about to speak his birth name despite how much he hated it. He realized this was a stranger, that he could call himself whatever please and not care. What were the chances he was going to see this guy again later on, even if he was Husk’s cousin? Sure the had to have a life after this.

__

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So he went with what felt right.

__

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“Angel. Angel Ragno.”

__


	2. He’s A Good Distraction

**January 2, 1997**

Alastor seemed pleased with the answer given to him. He hummed in approval and tapped his fingers onto the bar top. Angel raised a brow but stayed still while looking at him. Cherri started to engage in a little argument with Husk about how he should give her a drink. Of course, the scruffy man stood silent and didn’t give off any emotion, but just let the girl rant.

“Angel. I like it. Sounds very lovely,” Alastor said as he started to strip himself of his coat, “Rolls off the tongue.”

Picking up the cup of water, Angel only chuckled and lifted the drink to his lips, “Oh, what a charmer ya are.”

“So I’ve heard, but I’ve never seen myself as one. I’m simply just trying to be kind.”

“You and everyone else,” The blond murmured, too low for the other three to hear but didn’t make any attempt to repeat himself and let his words be known.

Cherri paused her rant and held a hand up to Husk’s face. She stood silent for a moment and turned to Angel, narrowing her eyes as she spoke, “Angie, did you tell Molly when you were getting out of the session today?”

Angel nearly dropped his cup onto the floor, he panicked and mentally slapped himself for forgetting to keep his sister up to date. She was only his twin but she really acted like a motherly figure. Kinda like Coralynn or Charlie would. Only difference, she knew a lot more about him than the other two did.

“Shit, shit, shit,” He placed the cup down and started to pat his body down as he hastily searched for change so he could use the payphone that was towards the restrooms.

Alastor laid a still hand onto Angel’s shoulder, stopping him and making the blond face him. He reached into his pocket, pulling out two quarters and handing them to the panicking boy.

“Relax, cher. I’ll spot you this for the phone call.” He spoke softly with a smile that was smaller than the one he had walking in but it still seemed genuine. Of course, Angel was too caught to really notice this, Cherri wasn’t paying attention to him, but Husk knew his cousin all too well. He knew that look and what that smile meant. Still, he ignored it… for now anyways.

Angel took the change and thanked the man so many times as he ran off to the phone. He quickly put the change into the machine and dialed his home phone number. After a few rings, it was finally picked up.

_ “Ragno house, Molly speakin’.” _

“Molly, it’s Angel.”

_ “Angel! Where the hell are you? You were supposed to use Ms. Magne’s phone and call me as soon as the session was over so I can pick you up! I’ve been worried!” _

“Ya, ya, I know Molls. I’m sorry. Cherri ended up waitin’ for me in the lobby and we came to Aces Wild.”

_ “Lovely… you know I don’t like you being there…” _

“I know, but everythin’ is fine sis. I promise. I’m just here with Husk and Cherri. Oh, there's a new guy in the city too.”

Angel heard Molly jost the phone around a bit. He turned to face everyone else back at the bar. Cherri still talked to Husk, surely about getting some sort of liquor. Alastor looked amused at their conversation, leaning back on the stool and smiled, but not wide and strange like it was earlier but small and closed.

_ “There are always new people here.” _

“No, no, I know that! I’m talkin’ bout a new guy in the group.”

_ “Really? Who is it?” _

Angel watched as the brown haired man took his eyes away from the other two and drifted them towards him. He kinda squirmed under the attention but otherwise kept calm.

“I’ll tell you ‘bout him later. I’ll be home before dinner.”

Molly sighed heavily through the phone,  _ “You better, Angie. If not, I’m going to look for your ass non-stop WITH Aaron.” _

Angel grimaced at the mention of his older brother’s name. Don’t get him wrong, he…  _ loved  _ the guy and respected him from a family point of view, but felt as if they were total strangers. Hell, he’d go as far and say he knew as little about Aaron the way he did with new guy Alastor.

The car rides and dinners were uncomfortable enough.

“Ya have my word.”

_ “Good. I love you, Angie. You mean a lot to me, okay? I’m sorry if you feel suffocated… I just want what’s best for you.”  _ Molly spoke softly, her voice was so light and angelic but her tone was heavy and sounded as if she was crushed under the weight of her personal demons. It broke Angel’s heart, but he kept silent. As he always ever did.

He took a sharp breath in and decided to respond after staying quiet for a few good minutes, “I love ya too, Molls. Ya mean a lot to me too. I’ll see ya home.”

After saying their goodbyes, Angel hung up the phone and made his way back to the bar. He wanted to walk as slow as he could, mostly to prolong seeing anyone else’s face because Husk and Cherri would know if something was wrong. As he zoned out and tried to focus on getting his head straight, his hearing focused on the faint sound of the music in the bathroom. He had completely forgotten that Husk had taken the CD Charlie gave him and put it to play.

_ Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I've held _

_ It pays my way, and it corrodes my soul _

_ I want to leave, you will not miss me _

_ I want to go down in musical history _

Angel listened to the lyrics and at first didn’t think much of them. He just momentarily found the name Mr. Shankly funny. That was of course until he started to genuinely focus on what was being sung.

_ Frankly, Mr. Shankly, I'm a sickening wreck _

_ I've got the twenty first century breathing down my neck _

_ I must move fast, you understand me _

_ I want to go down in celluloid history, Mr. Shankly _

He felt something towards them… he couldn’t have described it in that moment, but he just knew what they meant. Maybe not in the way the writer did, but in his own ‘Angel’ kinda way, yes.

Almost zoning out again, Angel felt a hand clasp onto his shoulder and squeeze. A pair of black dress shoes came into vision, since he was already looking down.

The touch gave him sort of a jolt. They electrified the nerves under his skin and sent a negative reaction down his body. Within a few seconds, a load of feeling swarmed all through his mind and caused him to panic a little. Feelings of frustration and frightened mixing, almost cause him to shove the person before him. Instead, he only yanked his shoulder away from the hand.

Looking up, he saw a pair of unique eyes close to him. The same burgundy color that invaded his mind when he saw them earlier. Alastor. His gaze traveled down to pink and soft lips moving, forming words he didn’t take in at first because a ringing had faintly sounded off in his ears earlier. He shook his head and focused into the present as he released a heavy sigh.

“W-Wha?”

Alastor chuckled, “I said, did I scare you?”

“Y-Yea. A little bit. Maybe ya shouldn’t go around grabbing people ya just met?”

Shrugging, Alastor backed away from Angel a little and put his hand to rest behind his own back, like the proper man he looked to be.

“I didn’t realize I grabbed you so strongly. I do apologize for it.” The man smiled in an apologetic way, a died down version of his usual grin. Surprisingly, Angel was able to tell the differences in what Alastor would show.

The blond sighed and shook his head, he reluctantly reached his hand out and allowed his palm to pat against the other’s shoulder, seeing how he would react to the touch and if he would stay or pull away. I’m a way he mental process may have held a small bitterness to it, mostly telling himself that he was cautious about others liking or hating the touch of another. Alastor kinda looked like the guy to hate it.

Still, once his hand came into contact with the shoulder, the touch was allowed. But while Alastor didn’t move away, Angel noticed he tensed up a little bit. Not much for anyone else to notice, but just a tad.

With seeing that, he made sure to keep it short. He also didn’t think about bringing it up because while it did concern him (even if he technically still a stranger) it was also _none_ of his business.

“Yea, well… just keep it in mind next time.”

Angel then started to walk the short way back to the bar. Cherri still in conversation with Husk while he served a beer to an older gentleman. They didn’t seem to be bickering like they usually do, but at least they were civil. Alastor wasn’t following behind, but was placed right next to him and in a close distance. Angel couldn’t say he minded this, because as long the other wasn’t man-handling him as if he were a sack of potatoes, he didn’t mind.

“So I couldn’t help but bring it up again, but are you a fan of the Smiths?” Alastor asked as he brought his hands around from his back to his front and clasped them together.

Angel turned to him and gave a simple shrug, “Nah, I can’t really say that. It kinda was just given it by my…  _ friend _ . Said I’d enjoy it.”

“They are a very nice band, can’t say I was the  _ biggest _ upon hearing them, but I enjoy them overall. Your friend has good taste.”

“Wait… ya actually like this kinda music?”

Alastor raised a brow, “I do. Why? You did not think I had a taste for it?”

“Well, no,” Angel looked surprised, setting up a high bar for things he expected Alastor to like when he first laid eyes on him wasn’t a very good move on his part, it was a bit of a sloppy judgement, “I figured classical music was ya thing. Like Mozart or some shit.”

Upon reaching the bar, Alastor took a seat at the stool he had occupied when coming in, Angel did the same. Cherri and Husk had YET to notice them, as they continued to talk about random things but totally engrossed in. Something along the lines of whether Disco or Country music sucked more.

“I can say that I do like ‘Mozart or some shit’ as you so tastefully put it,” Alastor chuckled as he adjusted the light brown vest he was wearing, “But I am also into things of the modern era. I’m not picky when it comes to music. Although I must admit, I have a soft spot for some heavier genres.”

Angel was now interested at this point, leaning in closer to Alastor with an elbow on the bar top and a hand cupping under his chin, “Oh shit, no way. So like, rock?”

“Exactly, my dear!” The brown haired man pointed out dramatically and gently tapped the tip of Angel’s nose before turning towards Husk, “Husker, I would like a drink please. Nothing strong at all, something that will not make me black out at a time like this.”

Husk held a hand up to Cherri’s face to silence her from talking, he ignored her quick bashing and kept his eyes on his cousin, “ _ Somethin’ light _ ? The fuck are you? A fairy?”

“ _ Husker _ .”

A little stare off went between the two, almost as if they were speaking their own silent language. With Husk’s eye rolling and Alastor’s own looking like he was ready to kill, Angel only looked with little interest as Cherri leaned into his shoulder and watched with a smile. She whispered something into his ear, along the lines of wanting to see a bloody battle. Angel listened and only nodded, knowing full well it wouldn’t go that far but would rather not crush his friend’s wishes.

“Yea, yea, whatever. Don’t flip out.”

The four of them spent sometime talking and somewhat laughing. More so on Cherri’s part as she dished out a joke here and there, which Alastor was appreciative of. Husk was in and out of the conversation at times due to having to serve a customer or two, but nobody was really bothered by that. To Angel, it felt good being able to be distracted from his own mind for a while. It might not have been a long time, but even a short hour is heavenly compared to the dreadful nights where he’d lay there and allow his mind to constantly run wild.

What had made it all better, in fact, was the presence of Alastor. The stranger had become a bit of a distraction in a good way for Angel. Listening to his little stories and jokes was somewhat fun while interesting because it kinda gave something away for the blond to know about him. Nothing exactly personal but Angel had an idea of who he  _ could  _ be. Although he had to admit it, Wild speculation about someone was a lot more fun than the truth.

If he was honest with himself though, he wouldn’t mind getting to know the brown haired man on a personal level and being close. He craved the idea the more he thought about it, but what turned him off to it was the fact that he would have to allow the other to learn about personal things in return he just didn’t know if he was ready for that. Jeez, he hardly let his sister and Cherri around sometimes without having a nervous breakdown, it would be totally worse with a stranger…

Snapping out of his little thought bubble, he looked around and started to panic as his eyes set onto the clock and realized what time it was. He gasped and shot straight out of his seat, catching the attention of the other three who gave him looks of concern.

“SHIT! I was supposed to be home a long time ago! Molly’s gonna kill me!” Angel looked around and gathered his bag together. Laying a hand on Cherri’s shoulder, he gave it a quick squeeze, “Ya gonna be okay? Want me to walk ya home?”

“No, no,” She shook her head and gave him a small smile, “I’ll be here for a bit longer with Husky. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Angel returned the smile apologetically, he turned to Alastor and waved, “It was nice meetin’ ya handsome, hope to see ya soon!”

With that, he ran out of the bar as fast as he could, ignoring Husk’s shouts after him.

“Wait, Angel! Your CD!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took long to update, life and stuffs! More to come!


	3. Tension Doesn’t Care For Convenience

**January 3, 1997**

Angel made it later to his home than promised to Molly, which killed him a bit on the inside but he spent nearly all night thinking of a plan to make it up to her. They were home by the time he walked through the front door, seeing Aaron and Molly’s cars in the driveway parked behind a huge Nissan Pathfinder that belonged to his old man. An old man he was very happy not to run into.

Assuming they were all asleep, he went straight to his room and didn’t come out at all. He managed to pass out around 3 and had some of an uncomfortable doze. It was awfully hot and he sorta felt suffocated. A weight on his chest and the silent nights air worried him tremendously. Angel couldn’t explain it properly then, but the feeling haunted him as his past demons rose to the top of his mind and began to taunt him. They danced around him all night, singing dark tunes that instigated anxiety attacks and shouted words that echoed off the walls, giving him headache after headache but were completely silent to the outsiders ear. 

He began to hear the voices of the past. The voices of his haunted life.

It was Angel’s personal hell. One he visited every night for the past 7 years.

The only way to escape the nightmarish events was to sleep, but even then there were more cons than pros of that solution. The cons being that not only was it harder to close his eyes and drift into unconsciousness, but his mind was even aware that it would have to go back to functioning normally soon after. That often led to a breakdown or desire to stop thinking in general within the first few moments of being awake.

Here he was though, repeating the same song and dance he had done nights previously. At least this time, he would actually have something productive to do to stop the torture for a few rather than just laying down in bed crying till Cherri or anyone else called the house to hang out.

Kissing ass to Molly.

Getting dressed for the day in his usual rags, Converse, ripped jeans, and a ‘Joy Division’ crop top. His hair was messy as always but short so it looked as if it was done like that on purpose. Brushing his teeth, putting on the bare minimum for makeup, and doing his best to not appear dead, Angel made his way out to the hallway slowly. Closing the door softly behind him, he waited a moment and listened out for any voices in the rest of the house.

He heard little chatter coming from the kitchen, but nothing else besides that. He had figured it was Molly and hopefully Aaron rather than their father. Both were difficult to deal with, but he’d rather be stuck in a room with his awkward older brother than his distant father.

The whole deal behind how he felt about the old man was a lengthy one. A root problem to his life. One he knew he would have to begrudgingly tell Charlie about. Hopefully, not any time soon.

Coming up to the doorway of the kitchen, his eyes trailed onto the sight of two figures. One standing in front of the stove, the other sitting on a chair, eating some breakfast.

The one towards the stove was Molly. A tall and slender girl, who had a face that defined the word beautiful and hair to die for. Angel was somewhat jealous of her blonde locks but gave credit where it was due. She managed to make it look flawless every morning, something he knew he wouldn’t have the energy for.

The other was Aaron. He was a bit shorter than the other two despite being older, maybe up to Angel’s nose and Molly’s eyes. He had the same fair skin color but as far as hair went, he didn’t match their light hair. Instead, he shared their father’s genes on that, with his short hair being a sorta black color. Arguably dark brown but only if you squinted at it in the sun.

He had a slightly more buffer built, somewhat thin but not like Angel was. Constantly with a resting bitch face, it was almost scary about how this man had a lack of emotion.

“Angie. There you are,” Molly set down the spatula she used to cook with and rushed over to Angel. She grabbed his hand, dragged him over to the table across from where Aaron was sitting, and forced him to sit. She backed up a bit and crossed her arms, a look of concern and being upset set upon her face.

“You told me before dinner.”

“I-I know… I really meant that too, but I got so caught up with Cherri, Husk, and Alastor that I guess I lost track of time.”

“We’ve been through this before, lovely. I don’t like it when you’re out late, I  _ need _ you home by sundown so I know you’re safe.”

Angel sighed, “I know, Molls. I’m sor-”

“Who’s Alastor?”

Angel was interrupted by the deeper voice of his brother, who still has his eyes on his plate while he talked.

“What?” Angel raised an eyebrow, a little bit caught off guard by the question. He wondered a bit why he would ask that of all things.

Aaron put down his fork and intertwined his hands together, placing them under his chin as his gaze went directly towards Angel.

“I asked, who is Alastor? You’ve never mentioned him before. Awfully strange name.”

Feeling a bit put off by the question still, Angel couldn’t help but be lost in the fact that Aaron knew Alastor wasn't someone he talked about before. He had figured the dark haired man would know nothing about his life so would most likely not have paid any attention to his and Molly’s conversation. It struck him in a way he wasn’t familiar with. He didn’t know whether to be happy or scared.

“What does it matter? Didn’t know ya cared…”

Aaron visibly hesitated, he didn’t want either noticing so he quickly gathered himself with a hand running through his short hair. The little movement was unnoticed by Molly but didn’t slip by Angel’s radar. The older of the siblings sighed, “You gonna answer the question or not?”

The only girl in the room felt the tension between the two brothers. In front of her, she felt an intense nervous feeling radiate off him. He looked fidgety and ready to break down. She knew how Angel could get when he was unsure about things and she knew how strained his relationship with Aaron was, so to suddenly see their older brother in such a  _ caring  _ state, as close as it got anyways, it must’ve thrown him off the rails by a mile. Although if Molly has to say, the behavior was strange to her as well. Seeing how she had been the only one to genuinely show affection to the blond, or to even be actually worried about it personal life, it was odd seeing Aaron do anything close to that.

It was also a shock he even paid attention to anything Angel said. Usually, it seemed like he didn’t. Through all the dinners, car rides, and forced together spaces, she nor Angel would’ve never guessed he listened. Not even for a second.

Breaking away at the tension, Molly cleared her throat, “Y-You said there was a new person in the group while on the phone. Would that be this Alastor guy?”

Angel sighed and looked away from Aaron, he nodded his head, “Yea. A proper kinda guy. Doesn’t look like the rest of us, but can get along just fine.”

Aaron looked at Molly and nodded. He didn’t seem offended by Angel answering to her rather than him, cause he still got an answer either way. He only shrugged and went back to eating his breakfast, seemingly unpresent to the conversation at that point which helped put the feeling normal once again.

“Well, as long as he is nice to you Angie, then I have no problem. Keep safe around him as you would with Cherri,” Molly paused for a minute as she thought about what she just said, shaking her head she turned back to the stove while speaking, “Nope, scratch that. Keep safe around him as if  _ I _ were there.”

With a small chuckle, Angel nodded as he got up from the chair and walked to the other side to sit. It wasn’t really necessary but he didn’t exactly wanna be next to Aaron. Nothing against him of course.

Breakfast went well for the most part. Their father didn’t come out of his room so Angel managed to eat in peace. He talked with Molly about plans of the day, what she did yesterday, and other random things. Aaron has finished his food and left, most likely to go and work with their dad. He was his favorite out of the two boys. For obvious reasons, Angel took a mental note of that.

Aaron was manly, Angel was not. Aaron was strong in the heart, Angel was weaker than paper. Aaron was someone who can get shit done and not fuck up on it, Angel was a huge failure and couldn’t do anything right.

… Aaron was straight. Angel was not.

That was the bigger reason. Stupid in the blond’s wyes if you asked him, but at least he wasn’t bothered too much by the old man about it. It’s better to stay out of each other’s way than being berated by him every waking moment.

“So,” Molly started as she took a sip of her coffee while leaning back into her chair, “How did the session with Ms. Magne go?”

Swallowing the last of whatever was in his mouth, Angel shrugged and pushed his now empty plate up a bit to be in three middle of the table, “It was pretty good for the most part. Same old, same old. Talked some, did that journal thing… Oh! And she got this new thing with music, got me listenin’ to it and see what it does for me. Shit like that. Even gave me a CD.”

“Oh really? Sounds cool. What CD did she give you?”

“A Smiths CD, The Queen Is Dead. I’m probably gonna listen to it later-” Angel paused for a moment as he tried to remember where he put the CD before groaning loudly as he realized he never even took it home, but instead left it at the bar with Husk, “After I get it back from Aces Wild cause I let Husk play it on the speakers.”

Molly grimaced at the name her twin mentioned, raised an eyebrow in disgust as she looked down and smoothed out her apron. Just as quickly as the reaction came, it left. She knew who Husk was and his history with Angel… short and straight to the point, she hated him. Well… not exactly  _ hated _ , more like strongly disliked. She never showed it much though because the drunk was on good terms with the blond and obviously okay with him, so she allowed the two to conversate with a watchful eye of course.

“Oh. Well… maybe we can go down there later and get it. I have to get some stuff for the house so maybe me and you time doesn’t sound so bad right, Angie?”

Angel nodded softly, actually liking the idea of spending time with Molly. He couldn’t get enough of her. She was his comfort during the nightmare he called life, the light in his dark tunnel. Molly was to him, what his…  _ she  _ couldn’t be.

She loved her entirely, closely attached to her. He even feared the day she’d eventually leave. But that’s not now, so he did his best not to worry about it.

“Yea, sounds good,” He picked up his plate as he stood up, along with Molly’s, “Just lemme know when ya ready.”

After half an hour, the two were already out the door and around the city. They had taken Molly’s car to the store and bought a few items for the week's dinners. The twins then decided to go to Ace’s Wild to retrieve Angel’s CD after packing up the car with the groceries. Upon arriving there, Molly was hesitant to go in, but caved in when Angel worked his persuasive magic on her. He knew why she didn’t want to, but figured what would be the harm if he stood close by. He always knew how to keep her calm. The way she knew him like the back of her hand, he knew her the same way.

Walking into the bar, he was greeted with the heavy smell of cigarettes and alcohol. Molly may have disliked that mixed scent but to him, it was oddly comforting.

Looking over the bar, he saw Husk cleaning out some glass cups, looking as hungover as ever. Well, he always looked like that anyways. Sitting across from him was a woman working on numerous packets right in front of her. Lengthy worded papers Angel knew he'd lose interest in after the first sentence. She had long brown hair, pale skin, and full pink lips. She wore a black and white striped dress, a black fancy coat over her shoulders. It was the bar owner Coralynn, the biggest sweetheart Angel had ever met.

“Coralynn, there you are,” He smiled as he looped an arm around Molly’s and walked forward, “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen ya. Where have ya been?”

The brunette looked up to the teenager and gave him a wide grin, “Well, well. If it ain’t the prettiest set of twins I’ve ever seen in my life. It indeed has been awhile, love. How are you?”

“Eh, could be better but I can’t complain.”

“Goodness, ‘could be better’ is not what I like to hear. And you, Ms. Molly?”

The blonde shrugged a bit and leaned against her brother as she adjusted her footing, “Just swell, Cora. A bit busy around the house but pulling through just fine.”

Coralynn rolled her eyes for a moment. She crossed her arms and sighed, “Hopefully not for that prick of a father you have back home.”

The older woman knew about their family life and home. She knew exactly who their father was and had no intention of hiding her hatred for him. Angel didn’t mind that and Molly understood it. Neither of the two would have ever had a problem with what she said because in a way, they agreed with whatever it was. Angel agreed with her more than did Molly.

“No, no. Just making sure my lovely brothers don’t die from starvation or anything.”

Coralynn only laughed for a moment, she then stacked up her papers into a neat pile and adjusted her coat. Clearing her throat, she looked up to Husk, “Let your cousin know he can start the work today. I have somewhere to attend right now so he can finish up the paperwork.”

Angel froze at the words.  _ Cousin _ . Which meant Alastor was lurking around here somewhere. It wasn’t really a bad thing, just that the man made him nervous in a way. The short conversations they had yesterday weren’t uncomfortable to him, he had fun in fact, what made Angel feel conflicted though was his…  _ attraction  _ to the guy. Never had he met anyone to make him feel that way so quickly.

Being quite honest, it scared him away a little. Still, he couldn’t blame the new guy for it. He didn’t even know.

Molly sensed her brother’s nervousness and raised a brow as she looked up at him. She stared at him quizzingly for a moment before snapping her attention back to Coralynn, who faced them for proper goodbyes.

“Hopefully I see you two flowers later?” The woman smiled as she patted Angel’s shoulder then Molly’s, “Don’t be strangers. I want to see you more. Good day, babies.”

With that, the brunette walked towards the door and out the bar. Just on time as well, Alastor walked out of the bathroom and towards the bar where everyone was at. The long sleeves to his black velvet shirt rolled up to his elbows as he dried his hands with a paper towel. He certainly dressed stylish, more proper than Angel’s own punkish outfits. A style he adopted when he met Cherri years ago.

Now while the blond like the ripped jeans and band shirts he wore, he still admired the classy top and burgundy dress pants Alastor wore. Who knows, maybe someday he might dress like that too.

“Angel, is that you dear?” He heard the man speak, looking up he saw Alastor come closer towards him, wearing his usual charming smile that never seemed to drop no matter how much you looked at him.

“H-Hey, Smiles. Yea, it’s me.”

When Alastor reached them, he looked at Molly with a curious gaze. He eyed the way she held Angel close to her for a moment but took his gaze directly towards her face, “And who might you be? Don’t believe I’ve met you.”

Molly didn’t really like the way he looked at the two before he turned his attention towards her. It unnerved her in a way, causing her to pull her brother a little more closer to her before answering.

“I’m Molly Ragno. Angie’s twin.”

Alastor stood up straight and as he placed his hands behind his back, “You don’t say? It makes sense now looking at the beauty you two share.”

Angel blushed hard while Molly only rolled her eyes. She forced a smile that even Alastor saw through, knowing how fake it was but didn’t comment on it.

“Oh, always this up front?”

“Yes, I usually get what I want with it more than pussyfooting around does.” Alastor smirked in a way as he bit back.

Molly batted her lashes and tilted her head curiously, “Oh? And what is it you want here? Surely nothing because there really isn’t anything for grabs.”

Alastor leaned in slightly, his eyelids dropping low as he looked at Molly who had just as a challenging gaze. The two barely met and already had a tension, possibly more than the twin had with Husk. Although in Molly’s defense, she didn’t really seem to have a smooth radar when she laid her eyes on him. Something about the stranger was off, and if that was the case, she didn’t know how comfortable she would be with him around Angel.

“Are you sure about that, dear?”

Said boy looked at the two like he just turned on the t.v to a show that was already halfway through an episode and he was lost. He looked at Husk for some answers, but the bartender only shrugged and continued to pour a glass for a customer.

Angel stood there confused as to what to do for a moment before he tugged on Molly’s coat to grab her attention, he chuckled nervously, “Um, everythin’ ok?”

Molly and Alastor broke their intense gaze to look at the boy with smiles as if they didn’t nearly start a bar fight.

“Yeah, Angie! Just talking.”

“Of course, darling!”

The two spoke at once which made the blond doll his eyes. They had come here for one thing Angel would actually need later on today. He'd preferred to get it before people went at each other’s throats.

“Right,” Angel dragged out as he separated from Molly and walked past Alastor, making his way towards Husk at the bar, totally missing the deadly looked the two gave to one another behind his back that were disguised as friendly.

“Ya have somethin’ of mine. I’d like it back.”

Husk nodded while reaching down under the bar picking up a CD case and handing towards Angel. He took a swig of his bottle of some sorta cheap booze (one he definitely knew Coralynn wouldn’t care if it went ‘missing’ in inventory)

He knew Angel didn’t mean to leave it behind, he even called out for the boy before he was officially out the door. Only reason Husk didn’t get mad was because Angel already seemed panicked enough, so he only continued to play the album till it was over and took it home with him. He was tempted to just go over to Angel’s house after his shift was over and give it to him, but with their…  _ shared _ history, he decided against it and would keep it at the bar after that night till the blond came and got it.

“Tried to call after ya, but you didn’t hear me. Knew you’d come back eventually and get it.”

“Yea, I’m sorry ‘bout that. I missed curfew and hauled ass all the way home.” Angel sighed heavily as he ran his fingers through his hair. He felt Molly and Alastor come up from behind him, but rather than stop them from going at each other’s throats, he continued his conversation with Husk. He was far too tired to break up a fight between people who didn’t even know each other.

How do you hate someone you don’t even know!?

Husk nodded, “Figured… still listened to it after ya left anyway. Good music. Next time you run into that kinda music again, bring it over. Give us better shit to listen to.”

“Will do,  _ boss _ ,” Angel giggled as he shook his head. He felt Molly grab his arm lightly, he tended up a bit as she pulled him towards her.

“Is that all, Angie? We can go come home, if you’re done.”

Angel didn’t speak, but rather shrugged as he tried to find something to say. His sister wasn’t usually

like this, she never really rushed him to do things or leave the bar if it wasn’t necessary. He was confused as to why now.

Being pulled away, Angel then felt a larger hand lightly grab onto his wrists. It was Alastor, who gave a small smile as he tugged him towards the bar.

“Nonsense, Ms. Molly. Why not stay? Have a few drinks on the house? I’m the new assistant manager after all!” He winked at Angel when he saw the boy raise a brow, “Call it celebration drinks.”

_ ‘So that’s why Coralynn was filling out paperwork here. He’s gonna stay for a while.’  _ Angel thought while he hummed, totally ignoring the fact he was being pulled two different ways at the moment.

Molly almost growled at the man’s cockiness. He was already someone she would despise. She didn’t feel comfortable around him, and that was only with her. When he mind thought of how he would be with Angel when she wasn’t there kinda scared her. She couldn’t put her finger why, but that’s just how she felt.

“I got groceries in the car, we gotta-”

Angel turned to face her, giving her a pleading look as he worked his charm on her. With a pouting face and soft voice, he knew Molly would fall for his trap.

It’s not that he didn’t wanna leave, he just didn’t wanna be home. He’s comfortable pretty much everywhere, but with Alastor’s open invitation, what was the rush?

“Please, Molls? Can we stay for a bit longer? Please?”

After a moment of silence and internal battles, Molly groaned as she reluctantly nodded her head. Walking with her brother to the bar top and sitting with him, only asking for a glass of water as Angel ordered a non-alcoholic drink.

Alastor looked at the two before his eyes settled on Angel. His smile grew a bit in a genuine one as he felt excited for getting to know the boy. He felt an attraction to him the moment they first spoke but didn’t know got deal with it since these feelings were somewhat foreign to him. Not like they had to rush, right?

Yeah… they had time.

“Excellent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter! More to come!


	4. Push With Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And things start to pick up...

**January 11, 1997**

**Journal Entry 8**

_ So this thing Charlie’s got me doing is pretty fun I guess. It’s better than just coming in for two sessions a week. That would be absolute hell for me. Well… maybe not, Charlie ain’t that bad. _

_ Yeah, you read that right Cha-Cha. You ain’t that bad. Don’t expect more to be said. _

_ Well, not yet anyways. _

_ I started to listen to the Smiths CD after it was given to me. I went to Aces Wild and my friend Husk played it over the speakers there. I liked the first song and the second wasn’t THAT bad. I found myself relating to it in a way I guess? Reason? I won’t exactly get into details just yet but you’ll eventually find out Charlie. The man of my past has to come up sometime right? _

_ Anyways, I didn’t finish it at Aces Wild but I did actually leave the CD there on accident. Went with my sister Molly the next day to go get it and ended up staying for almost an hour, I ended up chatting with Husk and a new guy Alastor for a bit. Oh yeah, I gotta mention Alastor now. You already know about Husk, and that Molly doesn’t like him. Good girl though, cause even when she doesn’t she knows I do and allows me to talk to him. You’d like her if you met her personally, trust me. She is just a little ball of sunshine. _

_ Getting off track, let’s bring up Alastor. Or as I call him, Smiles. Dude is  _ always  _ smiling. Never seen him without one in the handful of days I’ve known him, still can talk about the future though. Wonder if he wakes up with one. _

_ Anyways, I met him after our last session at the bar with Cherri. He is new around New York, coming from New Orleans. He is a southern boy yet I have yet to hear an actual southern accent from him. Maybe he hides it, but I know I’ll get it out of him eventually. He is a sweet dude, pretty proper and has the best manners I’ve seen for a hot minute. Dresses amazingly, not kidding, dude is looking like a snack! Ughhhhh, here I am being a hoe for this guy. Don’t be surprised about my language Charlie, you know how I am. Anyways, he is actually Husk’s cousin! So I can only assume that the drunk came from the south too, not that he ever told me. Which I’m a little irked about but hey, I’ll get over it. _

_ We talked some the day I got my CD back. I learned about him, nothing personal but enough to get by as sorta friends. Whatcha call it, acquaintances? Yeah I think that’s it. He knows my favorite food, kinda music (which is something me and you gotta talk about), that I’m a dropout, and who my real friends are. Them being Cherri and Husk. Oh, and you Charlie. I didn’t  _ specify  _ exactly WHO you were to me but… I dunno, I just see you as a friend. Kinda like Molly, somewhat of a parental figure except you’re older than me rather than my age and I don’t see you as often. I’m not all mushy with my feelings so don’t get used to hearing that, okay? _

_ So, Alastor. What I know about this man is the same things he knows about me. His favorite food is all just normal southern food, mostly jambalaya, which is something I’ve yet to try. Might get him to cook some up for me one day. His favorite kinda music, well… I don’t think he has a favorite. He likes everything, but one thing he is nuts about is the alternative genre. Crazy right? Seemed like he liked classical music, which he does, but not as much as I originally thought. About friends and such, as far as I know, he only has Husk. I asked if he meant just here, but he told me he didn’t really have friends back home. There was some lady called Rosie and her sister Mimzy, but that was it. He is, what we call, a lone wolf. Kinda makes sense when ya think about it. _

_ I’m talking about him a lot aren’t I? Sorry. It’s kinda been a while since I’ve shown any kinda interest like this to anyone for a cool minute. I dunno… there is just this  _ pull _ I feel towards him. An instant fascination, as a nerd would put it. From the moment I laid eyes on him Charlie, I swear, I felt this comforting aura practically RADIATING from him. It was quite comforting and strange seeing how I only ever felt like that with Molly. His smile is either wide with his teeth showing or small as if he was tired but still polite, but every time I look at him, it just feels genuine. Like he is actually happy being around a stranger like me. Maybe I’m just overthinking it and that is definitely NOT the case, but I like to pretend I make someone’s day like that… makes me feel sorta important, which feels good even if the feeling is faked in my mind. _

_ Talking to him just felt natural, it didn’t feel forced and we didn’t run out of things to say. Even if we somehow did stop talking then the silence wasn’t so tense and uncomfortable, but rather soothing. He didn’t look at me as if he was annoyed, he didn’t push me away, nor did he try to distance himself. Alastor really treated me normally compared to others in my life. Bless their hearts and I most definitely love them for their concerns but sometimes I wish I wasn’t treated like a delicate bomb… _

_ Moving on, there. You have it all so far. This has honestly been the longest I’ve written to you, funny huh?Maybe I’ll talk about the man candy next week too. Why not? I might just keep the dog around.  _

_ Love, Angel _

Angel set down his therapy notebook onto Charlie’s desk then leaned his head back, rolling it from shoulder as it released a loud but oddly satisfying crack. He sighed heavily and stretched out his limbs before sitting still and looking towards the blonde in front him.

She sat at the other side of the desk, filling out a few sheets of paper to keep busy while she waited for Angel.

Looking up, Charlie smiled, “All done?”

“Yep. Just finished. Oh, and here ya go,” He reached into his bag and fished out the Smiths album, handing it off to the therapist who took it and placed it into a drawer in her desk.

“So, how did you like it?”

“Eh, I really liked it. S’good band, kinda bummed I never gave them a chance before. Gotta say, my favorite song was the one ya said was yours.”

“I Know It’s Over?”

Angel nodded as he crossed a leg over the other, intertwining his fingers together and setting his hands onto his lap. He liked talking music and if it was a normal occurrence in their sessions, he decided he’d be a little more invested, “Yea. It was pretty slow and somber. Kinda gave me the impression a lonely man was singing it. Almost as if they were desperate but accepted the loneliness even if it hurt.”

Charlie watched him as he spoke his mind on the song. The way he was invested was a new thing to her and it was a breath of fresh air if you asked her. He seemed in an element of comfort but not even she wouldn't have seen that had she not squinted. He was a guarded boy, with good reason too. She would never pressure him to do something like this, but being able to see it was incredible if you asked her. She liked Angel. She wanted to help him, no matter what it took or how long it would. Everyone deserves happiness in her min and Angel deserved the world. After what she heard what his life had been like prior to meeting each other, she was going to do her very best to encourage him to get it.

“Did quite the extensive thinking on it, I see.”

Angel blushed a little and looked down nervously, he smiled and it wasn’t really a forced one. Charlie giggled and leaned forward, “I like that you did. Shows that we took a step in the right direction with this. I’m glad but we also have to talk about other things, Angel…”

Feeling a bit tense at the words, the blond boy sighed and leaned into his seat. His fingers fiddled with the arms of the chair, picking at the thread that threatened to poke out and rubbed his fingertips against them. A small rustle of fabric sounding off quietly in the room as a result. This caught Charlie’s attention but she refused to fully acknowledge it.

“... W-What things?”

“I think you know, Angel,” Charlie cleared her throat and brought out a notebook, she held a pen in one of her hands, “As much as I know it pains you to do so… we  _ have  _ to talk about your life. The past more specifically. Nothing too deep, I promise, but it is required.”

Angel wanted to shake his head and beg Charlie ‘no’. He wanted to throw himself into her and ask her for something else, anything else. The thing about Angel was he was hardly afraid of the future, he was ready to fight the present if needed, but… he was absolutely terrified of the past.

It was what broke him. It was what made him  _ hate  _ Anthony and only crave to be Angel. He knew Charlie knew this, and he felt a bit bitter towards her for it but he was also aware that outside of their quickly built friendship, they were patient and therapist after all. She had a job, he understood me that so when he reminded himself that it really wasn’t what Charlie wanted, the small fire of anger lessened. But the fear of his childhood remained, only growing bigger as every other feeling subsided.

“Do we have to?...”

“Yes… we do. Not so much, Angel. I promise. Just enough for me to document as progress,” Charlie gave a sad smile, she tilted her head to trying to face Angel’s face which was a bit towards the floor, “I want to help you get better, Angel. I want you to be happier than you can be with so much baggage on yourself. Can’t you imagine how it would be if you finally…  _ moved  _ forward from everything and finally live?”

That sounded nice. It sounded so good. He couldn’t remember the last time he went an entire day without thinking about the darkness that haunted his heart. He couldn’t even tell her the last time he slept peacefully without some kind of nightmare creeping up on him. Oh how that kind of healing sounded incredible. But that’s why heal your heart, you have to face the music and just push forward. Angel just couldn’t… he was too weak. Too afraid. He couldn’t do anything he wanted because he didn’t know if he had the willpower to do so… something told him no. And whatever or whoever owned that voice telling him so was an awfully good manipulator because he truly believed it.

“I can imagine, Cha-Cha. It’s a good thought. But it just ain’t for me… I can’t do it,” Angel wrapped his arms around himself, enveloped in a tight self-hug that managed to give him some kind of comfort, “It’s a good dream… but that’s why they call ‘em dreams. Somethin’ my mind hopes for, but I ain’t gonna ever get it.”

Charlie felt her heartbreak at the boy’s words. It hurt her that he believed that nonsense. She knew Angel did in fact deserve happiness. She knew it wasn’t just hope but it could become a reality if he was just given a little push so he could see that.

She would have to be the one to push.

“No, no, no. Angel, you listen to me. They’re not just hopes and dreams okay? They’re a reality. One waiting for you to come and enjoy. I know you’re hurting and I am very aware you want that pain to stop before you and do…  _ something drastic _ ,” Charlie stood from her chair and quickly rounded the desk once she managed to get a peak of Angel’s glossy eyes, tears threatening to fall. She pulled the taller body up and brought him close to her, slipping her arms around his waist and leaning her head on his shoulder. He stiffened at the close contact, and she knew why. But she just couldn’t let him suffer alone. No, Charlie wanted him to know she was there to help him whether he believed her could achieve healing or not.

After a few minutes, Angel slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Never really having this kind of experience before where a therapist had been so personally involved with him, it was odd but… very relaxing..

Pulling away a bit, Charlie kept her hands on his arms and rubbed her thumbs on him gently. It was such an innocent touch that reminded him of something similar to what Molly would do whenever he had panic attacks and breakdowns.

“I know I’m not supposed to do this, I know we shouldn’t be so close but I don’t care… from the moment we met Angel, I knew you needed help and I knew you deserved it. Seeing you walk into my office every week with a tired face hidden but a fake smile breaks my heart, and knowing you suffer so much more when you’re not here  _ kills _ me… Please… let me help you. I won’t ever force you to tell me more than you want, I won’t even pull it out of you. Just one step at a time.”

Angel frowned as his heart pulsed with a feeling of sadness mixed with joy. Sadness because seeing Charlie so choked up about him was just tear jerking. She was so small compared to him and yet had a heart ten times bigger than anyone else he had ever met with the exception of Cherri and Molly. Joy because she believed in him and his road to recovery. She didn’t just put up with him for the money, no she genuinely cared and he was stupid to have not seen it before. He was most definitely afraid of getting closer than they already were but he felt so appreciative within that moment, all he could do was hug her tighter and nod his head, giving her a signal that he was willing and ready for whatever they had to deal with.

After more than a few minutes, the two separated and gathered themselves up enough to finish the session. Charlie sat back in her chair as Angel did with his own. As nervous and shaken he was to get started, he knew it must be done. At least there wouldn’t have to be much that needed to be said right this second.

“Let’s start with the big question. Not the most essential question to begin with, but I figured it would maybe be best to get it out of the way for you. That way we have more easier things to discuss later on down the line,” Charlie held her pen to her notepad and looked at Angel with a small loving smile, “What is the biggest problem you have trouble dealing with that causes trouble in your life lately?”

  
  


Angel rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants as he sighed heavily, his breath coming out shaky and his face paled. He wanted to cry but closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head.

_ ‘No. No breaking now. Stop it, Angel. You… you deserve it…’ _

Opening his eyes, Angel stared directly into Charlie’s eyes and licked his dry lips. He opened his mouth to speak with a strangled voice.

“My mom’s suicide.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwww, Charlie cares for our lovely boy so much!
> 
> This might be a two-parter but chances of it? Probably not but if anything, you will see the rest of the session regardless. See ya next chapter! Tell me what ya thought!


	5. Broken, Damaged, and Bitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be no Alastor in this chapter sadly, but he takes his star spot back in the story next chapter!
> 
> Please read this and heed the warnings: CHAPTER CONTAINS TRIGGERING CONTENT OF SUICIDE, PANIC ATTACKS, MENTAL BREAKDOWNS. It is one of the few deepest chapters of this story with heavy topics. Feel free to skip this one if uncomfortable with the subject matter and I will be updating a much lighter one next week. Thank you.

**January 12, 1997**

_ “Your mother’s suicide. What age did this happen at?” _

_ “... I was 10.” _

**_Even as she yanked on his wrist, pulling him roughly towards his parents room, he couldn’t help but feel as if she was doing it all for love. She cared for him. She would never hurt him. She was his mom._ **

**_Parents are supposed to love their children and she loved him enough to cover the part that was supposed to come from his father but never did._ **

**_“Hurry. Hurry. We have to go before your papa comes home.”_ **

**_“B-But what about Aaron and M-Molly?”_ **

**_“They’ll be fine, my love. Your papa will care for them… it’s me and you I’m worried about.”_ **

_ “And what happened prior to her death?” _

_ “She wanted to run away. She hated my dad. She was worried for us.” _

_ “Worried?” _

_ “... Yea. Worried he might’ve hurt us more than he ever had before.” _

**_They were in his parents room now. His mom’s long blonde hair was now flying behind her wildly as she ran from one end of the room to another, gathering essentials for herself. She explained that he wouldn’t need much, only a change of clothes and she would take care of the rest._ **

**_“O-Okay, tesoro. I think that it-”_ **

**_She was cut off as the squealing of tires was heard coming into the driveway. Looking towards the window, he was able to see it was his father’s car and saw said man storming out, stomping towards the front door, fumbling with his keys as his hands shook with anger._ **

_ “Are you okay to continue?...” _

_ “N-... Y-Yea. I am.” _

_ “Okay. Take your time answering me, ok? I don’t mind waiting… So, your dad came home. What happened next?” _

_ “We couldn’t run. I think she knew that. She looked really tired and defeated when she heard my pop’s car… I think she gave up then. I saw it on her face.” _

**_His mother turned to him, tears freely falling from her eyes. Slipping passed the dark circles underneath them and down her flushed face. Something in her eyes broke and his child-self managed to even notice that. The warm soul that pulled through the troubles she dealt with daily, was no longer there. That welcoming sight he always enjoyed to gaze at was gone. Instead it was replaced by a set of empty and cold blue eyes that attempted to appear what they once were before, but failed miserably._ **

**_Smiling, she reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze. She leaned in, gave him a kiss on the forehead before pulling away and sighing heavily, “... I love you so much, my angel. You know that right?”_ **

**_“I love you too, mama.”_ **

**_The stomping was now heard coming down the hall, but he paid little attention to it as he was all about his mother within that moment._ **

**_“I’m happy you do, my love. So happy… I’ll love you forever and ever… Even if I’m not here.”_ **

**_He wanted to ask her what she meant as now he shook with fear. Her words, supposed to be meaning something light, struck scary feelings in his heart._ **

**_“MARIA!” His father’s voice was heard as he banged on the locked door. It scared the boy and made him jump a bit but his mother’s hand gently gripped his chin and kept his focus directly onto her._ **

**_She cleared her throat which had grown strained as she tried to keep her own fearful sobs in. That sight alone broke his small heart._ **

**_“You make sure to always be good to your brother and sister, okay? Even if your papa won’t be there, know that they will… my good, handsome angel.”_ **

**_The boy now felt tears run down his cheeks. A ringing now overcoming all noise as he looked up at his mom who now made her way to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer. He felt a gust of wind blow against his back gently and before he could react, large arms wrapped around his waist and yanked him off the ground like a ragdoll. His father was ready to toss him out of the room so he could deal with his mother, but he felt the man stop where he was and stare directly in front of him._ **

**_With his eyes being on his father’s face since his feet left the ground, he neglected to see what his mother was doing before them. When he turned around to see what scared the big man so much, he then froze in the position he was held in._ **

_ “... S-So, she didn’t wait for anyone to be out of her way?” _

_ “Nah. Somethin’ snapped inside her and must’ve told her what was best... She didn’t look all there. She looked empty. Nothin’ like my mom.” _

**_He watched as his mother gave him a sad smile and raised a fairly large, silver pistol to her head and cocked the gun. The two males too frozen in shock to stop her, they watched as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back a bit._ **

_ “And then she did it… She killed herself.” _

**_“M-Mama?”_ **

**‘BAM’**

Angel woke up in bed with a jolt. He rose up as he tried to inhale a large breath desperately. His heart pounding as he started to sob quietly. Yet another slumber cut short just to sit through a night of hell. The events of yesterday’s session still swimming through his mind.

He knew he willingly told Charlie his story and that she helped him as much as she could, but that didn’t make the journey of reliving it any easier than the last. Every time he did, it seemed to progressively get harder to deal with. Then again, the reason why he talked about it in the first place yesterday was so it didn’t have to be that way anymore. He just wished that part of the healing would hurry up.

Grabbing his pillow, Angel hugged it close to his body and curled up. Squeezing it as tears dripped onto the baby blue fabric that covered it. It stained a dark spot that grew bigger as the blond continued to cry.

Repeatedly, he told himself he was okay. He begged his mind to stop, he tried to relax his tense body. Yelling at himself mentally to stop, that everything was okay. But nothing worked as the words he tried to tell himself fell upon deaf ears. The only thing he could hear was a mixture of yesterday’s session and the nightmarish memories of forever ago.

_ “She did it. Right in front of me and my pops… H-Her blood c-covered me more than it did with that old man. Fucker held me like a damn shield.” _

_ “Angel, it’s okay. We can stop here, we don’t have to talk-” _

_ The boy pushed out of his chair, sending it falling backwards and stood up straight, his eyes red and wet trails running down his face, he smiled widely he began to yell, “But she died with a smile! She looked happy that she ain’t gotta be in this hell anymore!... SHE FUCKIN’ LEFT ME ALONE AND I FUCKIN’ HATE HER FOR THAT! I WANTED HER TO STAY AND SHE JUST DECIDED TO END IT ALL IN  _ FRONT OF ME!”

_ “Please, Angel! Calm down! It’s okay! Just relax, before someone comes in and calls for the guards!” Charlie begged as she ran around her desk and wrapped her hands around both of Angel’s shaking wrists. She tried to keep him up but he slowly sank to his knees as his body felt like it weighed a ton in an instant. _

_ “O-Oh God, I miss her so much C-Charlie!” Angel cried out, his voice thick and wet as he sobbed heavily, the therapist staying quiet as she watched him unfold like she had never seen before, “W-W-Why did she leave me? Why did she have to go? I needed her! I still need her… I miss her...” _

**_Ten year old felt something splatter as he was dropped harshly on the ground. His ears hurt as they rang like earlier but with a much harsher hiss. He felt his bum ache from the drop but ignored it as he watched his father run to his fallen mother and collect her in his arms. He shook her violently, demanding her to come back to him, begging her to stay but oblivious to the reason that he was the root of her problems that caused her to leave._ **

**_Angel looked down and saw the bloodied gun, how it shined in the lights that peaked through the blinds, making the silver color of the pistol come alive with its spots of dark red._ **

**_Suddenly Angel felt a pair of arms wrap around him again, but this time they were much smaller than his father’s big ones. They couldn’t pick him up either, so instead dragged him backwards into the hall. The boy turned around and came face to face with an equally frightened Aaron but the older boy managed to hide it well. Behind him was a crying Molly, who stood in the hallway hugging herself as she looked at Angel while he was being dragged into the hallway. It was all a blur, everything began to come too much for his youthful mind. He was scared, he was upset, he was hurting and most of all… he felt alone. Despite being near his siblings, he didn’t feel it._ **

**_Within that moment, the ten year old learned what abandonment meant and how it felt._ **

**_Turns out, Molly and Aaron weren’t even gone from the neighborhood when they heard the loud bang coming from their house. Molly had been across the street playing with a few girls in the neighborhood while Aaron was in their backyard trying to build a model car he had gotten for his birthday together. Of course, knowing full well what happened by hearing their father’s screams and seeing Angel’s blood covered face, the two knew their mother was gone._ **

_ As Angel buried his face into Charlie’s chest, he sobbed loudly but thankfully the cries were muffled enough for anyone outside of the office not to hear. The therapist hugged him tightly and ran her fingers through his hair a couple times in a comforting way as she whispered a few words to try and relax him. _

_ He broke down, understandably so. She knew it must’ve been too much for him, but the two also knew the subject wasn’t brought up maliciously. Angel harbored no ill feelings towards Charlie and she didn’t see him any differently than he had before. _

_ “I t-take back what I wrote last journal entry,” Angel said softly as he took his face away from his hiding spot against her chest and weakly leaned it against her shoulder, Charlie not thinking much of the closeness, she embraced him as well. _

_ “And what’s that?” _

_ “... that I’m okay. ‘Cause I’m not… I am broken. Nothin’ is fine… I need help Cha-Cha.” _

Back in bed, as those same last words he spoke before Charlie got up and called Molly herself to tell her it was best if she picked him up from that day’s session. Admitting to being broken was something he never wanted to do before, something he was in denial about.

He now came to terms with it but it didn’t not feel as freely as he thought he would. It felt even worse. Like he only opened the door for the pain to come in invitedly instead of fighting it till he got tired and let them win.

He sobbed louder as another pain whacked his heart hard and allowed a rush of emotions to escape his barricaded self. His breathing quickened and his throat felt right. Angel squeezed the pillow tighter as his panic attack’s intensity grew bigger within seconds.

The bedroom door swung open to reveal a worried Molly whose face was still draped in a sleepy expression. Rubbing her eyes, she ran to the bed and sat on top of it as she hugged her twin from behind and pulled him closer into his lap. She threw the pillow he had and allowed her body to replace it as Angel’s comfort object.

Molly kissed his head and began to whisper to him, “It’s okay, Angie… It’s okay. You’re okay. Let it out, my lovely.”

**_Molly walked away from her brothers and slowly towards the door that led to their parents room. She barely took a peak in and squealed as her sights laid on the horrific scene there. She covered her eyes quickly as her small chest heaved with her high pitched cries. She ran away from the room and looked around for a moment before finding a zoned out Angel and panicked Aaron in the bathroom. She threw herself against her oldest brother’s back and hugged him tightly as she continued to cry hard into his shirt._ **

As Molly held Angel, rocking back and forth with him in the bed while she did her best to calm him down. The two failed to notice the figure that stood in near the doorway, looking into the room with concern in his eyes. Aaron made no attempt to step any closer as he felt out of place to do so. Sometimes he wished he was close enough to the two to understand moments like these, but he also knew it was probably far too late to do so.

He didn’t mean to be the way he was, but… sometimes, he just didn’t see himself as good of help as Molly was to their brother. As ridiculous as it was to even admit this, but that little reason alone felt like enough to just not try for Anthony…  _ Angel _ as he goes by now.

Or maybe Aaron just wasn’t as strong as he paraded around to be.

Looking back once more, the dark haired man started to make his way to his room with his head down in shame and sadness. Emotions he’ll eventually hide and act as if they never existed.

**_After dragging his younger brother to the bathroom. He older boy sat him on the edge of the tub and hurriedly grabbed a washcloth, soaking in under the stream of water coming from the sink he turned on. Squeezing the rag, he brought it to the ten year old’s face and started to wipe the blood off that hard began to dry up. He opted for doing it gently rather than scrubbing his face like it was steel._ **

**_“Anthony? Tony? Answer me, Ant’.” Aaron begged as he felt his own tears well up, feeling the trauma of what just happened but sucked it up as he tried to tend to his brother._ **

**_Pulling the cloth away from his face, look at the once white fabric and how it was now red all over. He dropped it out of his shaking hands, looking up to his brother who had a blank face with wide eyes._ **

**_He lightly grabbed onto his face and gave it a small tap, “Anthony?”_ **

**_Before he could continue trying to grab his brother’s attention, he felt his little sister’s body slam into his back and hug him desperately as if she was trying to protect herself from those monsters and ghouls he would try to scare her with at night._ **

**_He turned around and took her in his arms. He wasn’t that much older than them, but he was still bigger and older in their minds. Sitting on the edge of the tub next to Angel, he slowly took and arm and wrapped it around his still-shocked brother, bringing him in as much as he could._ **

**_He cried silently as he held his younger siblings, feeling a bugging feeling of anger towards his mom for doing this to them. For leaving them, for doing it in front of Angel, no less._ **

**_He knew she was upset, beyond what he pre-teen mind could fathom. But that still didn’t stop the small anger he felt of being in the unknown of why she just couldn’t just… stay for them._ **

**_Aaron sniffed and blinked away a fresh set of tears in his eyes, pulling Molly and Angel in more as sirens in the background started to come closer and closer to them._ **

All of them broken in a way… One more than the others to where normal would never be an option again, one that wanted to scrub her mind away from anything of that say, and another where feels of anger and bitterness were more comforting in comparison to sadness and fear.

Nothing would ever be the same again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sad I didn’t get to write my Radiodust this chapter but this one does get into Angel’s background a bit (yeah a bit lol) and along with his siblings. I wanted to show that the death of their mother did effect them in way that differ from Angel. Molly doing her best to distract herself with being motherly to Angel and Aaron. Aaron throwing away any feelings he would consider weak and replacing them with bitter feelings.
> 
> More will be dropped on the three but as the chapters go by instead of all at once again. Thank you for reading, see you next week my darlings.


	6. Like A Broken Plate

**January 12, 1997**

**_Later that day_ **

The rest of that night had been hell for Angel. He had been sobbing for nearly half of it, the only time he had stopped was to convince Molly all would be okay that night. She was very tired and the last thing the blond wanted to do was keep her up for another episode that would last hours.

He hated lying to her, but she would have never gone back to bed otherwise. Something tells him that she doubted his words, understandably so, but reluctantly went anyway. She was in dire need to sleep, too much so that she wouldn’t have argued to stay and Angel knew that. 

Afterwards from 2 to 6, he sat up in bed and cried as quietly as he could. He hugged himself and would have a round of comforting cuddles with his pillow. He did his best to think about other things besides the session, like maybe how Charlie might be able to give him another CD to listen to next time and go a little easier with it all. It’s not like he resented her for it, he didn’t even hate what happened.

Was he upset at the aftermath of it? Of course, but that was nothing neither of them could have controlled. After Molly had picked him up, while he sat in the car waiting for her, he began to remember all the words that had spilled from his lips as he cried out to the high heavens going back to the memories of his mother’s suicide. Among them were words he was shocked to even had spoken. Some he was surprised he admitted.

_ I am broken… I need help _

_ I am broken… I need help _

_ I am broken… I need help _

They replayed in his mind forever that evening and into the night, long after waking up screaming.

Before then, even when starting the sessions with Charlie, he knew all things in his mind weren't ok. Angel wasn’t an idiot, he wasn’t unaware. He knew he had issues, problems he needed help with. But one thing he never wanted to do was admit it. He couldn’t tell anyone whether it was his nearly non-existent pride or the desire of wanting to seem somewhat normal still.

Nothing had been like that ever since that day, so he wouldn’t really even know what ‘normal’ felt like. The feeling was foreign to him, rather than a long ago memory, it was almost as if he didn’t know what it was.

Normality was not an option for Angel as it was for Anthony.

Looking at the clock on his nightstand next to his bed, he read the time with a heavy sigh.

**6:45 AM**

He still had some time left before he had to get up and do anything. The darkness of his room very slowly being filled with the rising sun peaking through the blinds. The beams of light flashing into the beige carpet floor, traveling up the bed at a pace slower than a snail on the move.

Angel turned over and laid on his stomach, the pillow in his arms thrown to the other side of the bed as the left side of his cheek pressed against the cool fabric of his bedsheet, so close to the edge. His arm fully draped over, fingertips brushed ever so lightly against the floor.

His mind drifted from music sessions with Charlie to Cherri and how fun it was to hang out with her. Traveling from Aces Wild to backyard parties, getting drunk with her and lost into the night without a care in the world knowing the next morning when he wakes up next to her at a park or her house, that they would forever have the best of times together. The sparky and energetic girl gave him a whole new light in his life when they met. Sort of a sister relationship he had been missing ever since Molly immediately took the motherly role for him and Aaron (despite the man being older).

He was forever grateful for Cherri, and would do anything she asked, whenever she asked.

Switching gears, he then thought of Husk. That funny drunk who caught his attention with a card trick or two. They weren’t exactly like two peas in a pod, but when they met, the older man was good enough attention for Angel. They kept up conversations, had a few laughs, and a few other things they never talked about… Things Angel still remembered and kept in mind all the time.

Husk may not have been the love of his life, but he was pretty damn close to it. Angel came first most times and Husk showed that in his own brooding way. They weren’t in love, yet for some reason, the blond always looked at him with a longing smile. He sorta missed their nights together and days talking. Deep conversations on things ranging from personal pasts to silly thoughts of the future.

The boy wouldn’t lie… he did in fact miss Husk in a way but knew some things are in the past for a reason. He could want Husk forever after if he so pleased, but Angel knew it would all be for naught. Better days will come with better opportunities for both males.

They were much better off left as friends now.

Now forcing himself to think of anything else but the past he longed for, his mind floated over a handful of subjects that didn’t catch his interest. That is until a certain name crossed him that sent shivers down his spine. A lovely feeling really, one he could’ve sworn was angelic.

Alastor.

The man who was somewhat still a stranger. One Angel definitely wanted to get closer to the more he saw him. Something was different about him though, more than any other guy he met. Even Husk.

Whenever he talked to Alastor, he felt a sorta comfort in his heart he only ever got from Cherri or Molly. He felt content and not so afraid of the big and scary things life threw at him. Alone wasn’t an option when Alastor was around.

A voice of silk, touch reminiscent of velvet, and eyes that shoved Angel into another galaxy. His smile… oh goodness his smile was to die for. Soft looking lips framed straight and bright teeth. His skin gorgeously tanned, a dark tone that reminded Angel of honey for some reason. To kiss the man’s cheek would be a sweet taste on the lips and addictive like the delicious substance.

Alastor may have had a frightening aura to others, but to Angel, he was as comforting to him as a teddy bear would be to a child. He found himself wishing he was actually with the brunette at the moment. That instead of laying face first on a lonely cold bed, that his cheek would be pressed onto the warm and soft chest of the New Orleans native. To hear the soft pattern of the man’s heartbeat and feel his long fingers run through his hair in a comforting manner pushed out any momentary, longing thoughts of Husk.

Something about Alastor was just so familiar yet strange. Angel couldn’t put his finger on it though.

_ ‘Maybe I’ll go bug those two today,’  _ Angel thought as he looked up a bit, feeling the light shine in his eyes as it traveled up a bit more, _ ‘I could even invite Cherri. See if we could make some plans or whatever.’ _

Rising from the bed, Angel stretched his limbs out and continued to get ready for the day. Going with a simple pinks and white striped long sleeve, newish skinny jeans, and his same old Converse sneakers.

Skipping the whole makeup routine, only brushing his hair and teeth, he made his way out the room and directly to Molly’s. He opened the door just enough to poke his head through and see she was still wrapped up in her blankets asleep. It was barely 7 in the morning so he wouldn’t expect her to be up just yet. Aaron was most likely gone by now and the old man should be as well. So he didn’t have high expectations of running into someone awkwardly in the kitchen when he went to grab a glass of orange juice and some toast before slipping out. A little early to be heading to the bar, yes, but he didn’t see the harm in being away from the confinement of his room.

Angel wasn’t exactly in the perfect state of mind to really be doing anything, but walking around and thinking sure as hell beat sitting and thinking. For some reason, the feeling in the actions were different. One was less extreme and that’s cause you had a lot more to focus on in front of you rather than in your mind.

The other one was laying there in absolute silence and allowing the horrific thoughts and memories to seep into your brain, making everything ten times worse than they originally were.

Walking into the kitchen, he made a beeline straight towards the fridge for the orange juice and maybe something to snack on. His stomach wasn’t exactly begging for food but even as irresponsible as he was, Angel knew he had to eat  _ something _ .

Grabbing the carton of juice, he squatted down and rummaged through the different drawers of the cold space for something small. He gave up and decided maybe there would be more to-go options in the pantry. Taking the juice with him, he stood back up with a sigh before closing the fridge door. He jumped back after coming face to face with the man of his nightmares, his father, Henrion.. Standing there drinking the last of his coffee with a brow raised.

The years haven’t been too kind to him and took it’s heavy toll. His hair having one too many gray patches for his age, wrinkles covering his forehead, eyes, and a bit of his cheeks. He constantly looked tired as if he hadn’t gotten one lick of sleep. Who he was the day before Maria’s death, was an entirely different person than he was now. Physically for the most part, the only thing different personality wise was how he became much more dead on the inside.

He moped around like a zombie, life having left his eyes long ago.

A reminder to Angel that maybe his father wasn’t as strong as he claimed to be. Both having to have suffered the aftermath of  _ witnessing  _ what happened to his mother, they both collapsed and fell the same way, just with different outcomes.

Angel was damaged in a way where there was a possibility he could be saved, at least that’s what Charlie told him.

With Henroin, he seemed too far gone. Death had come for his soul but left the body behind with a barely functioning mind. Who he was, was a walking vegetable with no concept of feelings nor self-respect.

If Angel was that honest, he would say deep down, behind all the anger he felt towards his father and the fear he had of him, that  _ in a way _ he felt bad for him.

But Angel was not that honest… So he would tell anyone that was expecting to hear those words to save their breath, cause he would never speak those words.

Truth was that their relationship was far too broken to save. Like a glass plate that fell and shattered into more small pieces to count, there is no putting it back together. It is done for, totally lost, to be thrown out. That was Angel and his father. In a way, not strong enough to speak on it, but the blond  _ somewhat  _ cared for the old man. But what he will say, is that if he were to disappear, then the sadness wouldn’t last very long.

Now while he wasn’t sure if the feeling was mutual is something he definitely did not care for. Whatever he had to say was not important to Angel, he would rather just walk away than listen. But there were moments like now where he would be flooded with memories of the haunting past and would be too stuck in fear to move. His heart would shout ‘fuck you’ while his mind would quietly beg him ‘go away’.

Maybe it was the cold stare of his lifeless brown eyes. Maybe it was the deepened frown he saw after his father blamed him for things out of his control… And with whatever it was, he wanted to feel none of it.

_ ‘Shake it off… shake it off, Angel. He’ll be gone soon enough.’ _

The blond looked at the man, analyzing the work clothes he was in and came to the conclusion one or the other will leave fast enough.

Grabbing a cup, he poured his juice and kept his eyes glued to his head with his head ducked down. Henroin walked past him and gently placed the ceramic mug in the sink, he paused for a minute and looked towards Angel. His hands fishing into his pockets in search of his keys, he opened his mouth and began to walk away, barely keeping his vision on the boy as he started to disappear from the kitchen.

“Next time ya have another fit, keep it down will ya?”

Angel snapped his head up as he gripped his cup, looking towards the doorway with a scowl and his heart beating a million miles per hour. Fear left his body as frustration flooded his veins. A small thought of running after Henroin and smashing the cup into his head flashed in his mind but left as quickly as it came.

That would still be a fight Angel would lose, so as much as it angered it, it was better left alone.

_ ‘Calm down, don’t get mad. Don’t cry. Don’t focus on it. Do what Charlie told you, channel it elsewhere.’ _ Angel repeated slowly in his mind as he went to the fridge and put the juice back, breathing heavy and slow to get a grip on his mind.

Channel it elsewhere. Channel it where?

Charlie and her advice. How comforting it was in her arms when he broke down. How she held him and whispered all things good.

Cherri and her bombastic personality. Her jokes. How she came to the rescue within seconds if he called for her.

Molly and her motherly relationship with him. How she was the same age as him yet insisted to act older and loved him like he was her son.

Husk and his silly drunken antics. Music talks with the rugged man, whenever he would teach Angel about the differences in cocktails and beer.

… Alastor. The man he barely knew yet had a deep attachment to. The second time today he thought of him in such high regards… in barely an hour too.

He felt his heart beat slow down, hearing the pumps of it as everything else blocked out. Images of Alastor’s genuine smile flashed in his mind, hearing his laughter, his corny dad jokes he told Angel and Molly the day they visited him to retrieve the CD. How he passed very small but noticeable compliments from the time he arrived to the time he left.

He wondered what it would be like to kiss the man, would his lips be soft? Would he treat him gently? He seemed like the type.

Opening his eyes he didn’t realize were closed, Angel leaned his forehead into the fridge and smiled softly. He trailed his fingers down the cold steel of the big thing, imagining how it would be if he did it to the New Orleans native’s cheek instead. How soft his hair would be in his hands.

Oh yeah, that man definitely meant something to the boy.

After sometime of being able to relax himself, Angel had left the house and got started to walk aimlessly around the neighborhood. Visiting different stores and saying hi to familiar faces, he wasted some time before the appropriate time to visit Aces Wild would come.

He found himself in front of an unfamiliar store at the moment, it was small but looked like they had everything in there. Outside was an older lady sweeping, she waved at him with a warm smile and went back to pushing the trash away from the store for pickup later. He waved back before taking one more look at the sign, it was a huge yellow one with different colored letters.

**_Castillo’s Place_ **

Angel walked into the store, the door hitting the bell above making it jingle. He looked around at the aisles that seemed a bit closed in but most stores in New York were like that so it didn’t bother him at all. The shelves filled with treats wrapped in colorful packaging, basic food items you would find at a supermarket, and other things with Spanish words that Angel barely understood. He was able to get what Spanish speaking people were saying because the language was similar to Italian, but reading was another ballgame.

He turned his head and continued to look at the snacks on the shelves, deciding what to get before heading over to the bar.

Angel picked up a couple of wrapped pastries and started to walk to the cash register, pulling out his wallet from his bag after setting the snacks in the table. A shorter girl with long brown hair came walking to the other side of the cash register. She hurriedly took off the apron she was wearing and gave a nervous smile, she scanned the pastries as she visibly relaxed.

“I’m so sorry, kinda got distracted back there,” The girl bagged the snacks and handed them to Angel, “four dollars and thirty five cents, please.” 

Angel chuckled as he handed her a five, his slightly tired eyes scanning over the girl as he watched her take the bill, “Don’t worry ‘bout it. I didn’t even notice ya weren’t here.”

She was tanned, her skin a nice bronze. Her eyes a lovely hazel that Angel found himself liking instantly. Features sharp and fierce in a way, but that made them pleasing to look at. She wore a gray shirt with raggedy jeans, it was a style the blond was into. 

After the girl handed him his change, he looked around a little while he shoved all his belongings into his bag. He smiled at her, “Nice place ya got ‘ere. One I’ve never been in before, so expect to see my mug around ‘ere more often.”

She laughed lightly and nodded, picking up her discarded apron and slipping it on.

“Can’t wait then, big spender.” She joked with a wink before walking off the back room again, waving off to the boy as he also parted towards the front of the store. Making his way out and down the street, off to his targeted destination.

It was sometime away from the store but Angel didn’t mind the walk. By the time he did get there, there were a few people already in the seats. He scanned around the room and smiled when he saw the back of a familiar head, Alastor. Walking towards the bar top where the closer he got, the more he noticed the man was buried in a stack of papers, his face focused on the paragraphs and a pencil in his hand, tapping the eraser end on the flat surface underneath him.

He tossed the bag on the bar top, catching the attention of Alastor who looked at him with a wide smile and a raised brow, after he realized who it was, his grin shrinked into a softer one and he chuckled softly.

“Well what a way to say hello, mon cher.”

Angel bowed slightly, a hand pressed into his stomach and one on the small of his back, “Best what I’m known for, Smiles. Ya haven’t eaten breakfast right?”

Shaking his head, Alastor hummed, “Not that I remember. Why?”

After plopping into a stool next to the man, Angel opened his bag and took out one of the wrapped pastries. He handed it to Alastor with a wink, giving a playful kiss to the air, “Ecco qui, a yummy treat.”

Laughing and taking the pastry, the darker toned man opened it and inhaled the sweet smell of the bread. He wasn’t one for something like it but seeing how it came from the blond, he wasn’t going to reject it. Seeing how happy Angel was giving him the snack, he wanted to continue seeing that smile on his face. So if eating it meant doing it, then Alastor was going to finish it like it was the best thing on Earth.

“Why thank you, darling! Looks really good, I’m very hungry so I’ll most definitely be eating this after I finish up the paperwork,” He placed the food on the bar top softly, picking up the pencil once more and began to write on the papers, “So what are you doing here so early? From what Husker told me, you and your friend don’t usually come in unless it’s past 12.”

Angel started to eat his own food, shrugging after taking a bite and chewing fast to talk, “I usually don’t, but I dunno. Didn’t wanna be home. Decided why not come ‘ere. Figured maybe we could all hang later on today.”

Coughing violently after realizing what he said, the blond padded on his chest and set the food down.

“I-If that’s ok with you of course!”

Alastor shook his head with a small laugh, he placed a hand on Angel’s shoulder which caused the boy to still for a moment. After catching his attention, the brunette gave his shoulder a squeeze before pulling away, “Of course it is, dear. After work, we can go out and you can show me more of the town! Maybe even invite grumpy cat Husker and your little fiery friend, Cherri.”

Angel’s heart started beating fast at the touch. As much as he didn’t really like random contact, he seemingly didn’t mind it from Alastor this time as he did the first time they met. It made him anchor down to the world as he freaked out for coming on too strong. Alastor actually wanted to hang out with him, which made the boy feel butterflies all over his stomach.

He smiled widely and nodded, picking the pastry back up. His eyelashes fluttered as he nervously spoke up. A warm feeling spread through his body as he, for the first time in forever, felt something close to content.

“I’d love that… very much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter but it’s a bit longer than expected! More details on Angel and Henroin AND a very small character introduction? But who? Hmmmmm, you already all know. If you’re reading my other fic in the works, you’ll know why I chose the name Castillo.
> 
> Till next chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what ya think! Should I continue? Do ya like it? What would ya wanna see?


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